


192024

by farozaan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Atsumu (love), Break Up/Make Up, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Music/Idol AU, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28882293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farozaan/pseuds/farozaan
Summary: Atsumu remembers the first time Hinata sang to him, shirtless on his bed when they were only eighteen and nineteen and sang a song so sweet to him, it took Atsumu’s breath away.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 28
Kudos: 324





	192024

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cathyngx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathyngx/gifts).



> hellooooo everyone, i come bearing gifts!! a musician/idol au, requested on twitter (which got away from me, a little bit... it wasn't supposed to be this long)
> 
> the playlist for this one: [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6kgEHfx2Qbvb5jmSdWUetE)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Atsumu throws back the glass of champagne provided in his car to the red carpet like it’s a shot of tequila and insists, to himself, that he isn’t nervous. 

“Please don’t get drunk before we even get there, Atsumu-kun,” his manager says next to him while typing away something on her phone, tone a little too flat to pass as a scolding. 

“I’m not drunk.”

“You’re usually not nervous before award shows,” Saeko says, finally putting her phone down to snatch the second glass Atsumu just poured himself. 

“I’m not nervous! I just really like the champagne, okay?”

Saeko levels him with a look and Atsumu knows he’s not getting another sip for now. 

He wasn’t lying, really. He isn't actually nervous. Maybe a little on edge, a little fidgety at best, and it has nothing to do with the award show itself but he doesn’t want to get into it right now. Atsumu lamented enough about it the day prior after crashing his brother’s apartment who got so fed up with him after three hours that he threw them out. It be your own flesh and blood.

No, Miya Atsumu isn’t nervous about the award show at all. If anything, he looks forward to it because not only is he nominated for two awards, he will also perform and that’s always something that gets him excited. Being on stage and doing what he loves. 

The thing that has been unnerving him for days now is the fact that Hinata Shouyou will be there, and that’s going to be the first time the two of them will be in the same room ever since their break-up four years ago, and Atsumu doesn’t really know what to do with himself. 

Their break-up was, for the lack of better words, a mess. Many things went wrong, many things were said that Atsumu regrets but also doesn’t, and after they cut the cord, they couldn’t even remain friends. 

They were so young when they got together. Back then, Atsumu was still making music with Sunarin and Osamu with little gigs in bars, and busking downtown, and Hinata was a YouTube singer with a considerable audience but by no means popular. 

They met through a friend’s friend when Hinata tagged along to one of their gigs, and Atsumu remembers still so clearly that Hinata had mesmerized him from the get-go. He was a mix of sunshine and gremlin energy, with bright eyes hiding a mischievous side under layers of sweetness and seemingly endless energy. 

Atsumu always went for what he wanted so he asked Hinata out that very evening, and two weeks later they were dating. 

He always felt like Hinata understood him on a level few others did. They were both passionate about music and had the same dreams and ambitions, and that’s what brought and also kept them together. 

Atsumu remembers the first time Hinata sang to him, shirtless on his bed when they were only eighteen and nineteen and sang a song so sweet to him, it took Atsumu’s breath away.

“I wrote this one thinking of us,” Hinata told him back then, and Atsumu melted against him, overwhelmed by the emotions, the staggering wave, of loving one Hinata Shouyou. Hinata moved him the first time they met. Atsumu was convinced Hinata’s entire being, his light and passion, would be able to move mountains and entire oceans. 

Back then, at eighteen and nineteen, they surely were a little more than naive. 

Hinata was there for him, when Osamu announced that he wouldn’t continue making music and Atsumu felt himself spiraling because his brother had always been there next to him. It was then, when their band split apart but Atsumu wasn’t done with music yet, wouldn’t ever be done with it, and it was Hinata who believed in him back then.

It was an important component to Atsumu’s eventual success. While Atsumu is sure he wouldn’t have given up either way, having Hinata there to support him was still vital, and gave him the inspiration for the song that eventually became his breakthrough.

Atsumu was the first one to “make it” with his first solo song. It was a song he actually wrote years before but was buried under other demos and beats, and it was Hinata that told him to go for it. So Atsumu reworked the entire song, wrote new lyrics, and took a shot. And it was worth it. Finally, after years of trying and working hard, people were suddenly talking about him. His social media exploded and he was invited to perform on much bigger stages. Atsumu felt almost drunk when he saw his dreams unravel in front of him.

Hinata was sure to follow, albeit in a slower and more subtle way.

He always had a solid online platform and very enthusiastic fans, and eventually, the both of them became busier and busier. And at first that was fine. They were happy for each other, they were coming into the life they always imagined for themselves. 

But these things always come with a price. 

As time passed, both of their careers progressed and they managed to spend less and less time together until it got to a point where they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. They tried to speak on the phone and text, but they started going abroad and timezones wrecked them more than they expected.

“We can do long distance,” they said but Atsumu had a foreboding feeling that it was the beginning of the end, but he loved Hinata so much and he was scared to let go of him. He was too scared to face the truth until it’s been three months until he last saw Hinata in person and on a really bad evening when he really needed Hinata, Atsumu couldn’t even reach him.

Admittedly, Atsumu was in a bad place that night. He had a fight with his agent, the song he was working on just didn’t sound right no matter what he tried, and he felt lonely. All he wanted was to speak to Hinata but he wouldn’t pick up his phone. Drunk on anger and vodka, he sent Hinata a single text: _I can’t do this anymore._

It was something like a cry of help, a cry for something because surely Hinata wouldn’t ignore a message like that, right? Atsumu was too blinded to see the hypocrisy behind that because Hinata was in LA and it was in the middle of the night, so he was probably sleeping. But Atsumu didn’t care.

Hinata didn’t call him until hours later, voice distressed as he asked Atsumu what that message meant. 

“It’s just not working out.”

“Tell me what I can do. How can I make it better.”

“Ya can’t. Ya didn’t even pick up the phone–”

“I was asleep! It was four in the morning here.”

“It can’t do it, Shouyou-kun. I can’t.”

It was their last conversation. They ended things that night when Atsumu was still twenty and Hinata was only nineteen. They were young and naive, and twenty year old Atsumu wasn’t capable of holding up a long distance relationship. 

They were both at the beginning of their careers while their relationship ended.

A lot of time has passed since then and many things have changed. For one, both of them have surpassed their rookie status and are instead both accomplished artists. Atsumu has released one EP and two albums already, and he knows that Hinata recently came out with his first full-fledged album after releasing several singles and EPs in the years before. 

Atsumu couldn’t help himself and always kept up with Hinata’s music. His opinion of him hasn’t changed, and Hinata has always moved him in a way that others weren’t able to, so he knows all his songs and every lyric by heart. But he has never seen him perform live ever since the break-up. So tonight would be a first.

Atsumu isn’t nervous. He’s just a little out of it, that’s all.

Hence the champagne (which was now taken from him.)

“We’ll be there soon, so you can channel that nervous energy for the red carpet and the stage later, alright?” Saeko says and then, like a traitor, finishes Atsumu’s glass. “You have that award in the bag too, so brighten up a little.”

Atsumu tries not to pout and instead looks out of the window and watches Tokyo’s scenery pass by him, getting closer and closer to the arena. It’s a Friday evening, so the streets are filled but then again, when isn’t Roppongi bright and alive?

The closer they get to the venue, the fuller the streets get, both sidewalk and the road, and eventually they pass a checkpoint and get in line for the cars driving right to the red carpet.

“Remember last year when you trended for getting out of the car? Think you can top that?” Saeko asks, just cars away from their turn. 

Atsumu snorts. “Ya look pretty today, maybe ya can go viral this time.”

“Oh please, I wouldn’t hear the end of it! You would sulk for at least a month.”

Atsumu is about to insist that that isn’t true when their car stops right at the beginning of the carpet and one of the staff walks up to their door. 

“Showtime, Miya,” Saeko says before the door is opened for him and Atsumu takes a deep breath, puts on his signature smile and steps out. 

Immediately, he’s bombarded by flashing lights of the cameras and people calling his name, asking to look here, look there, and Atsumu dutifully follows, walking and turning in every direction until he feels a little push from Saeko to continue. He stops for the previously agreed interviews and answers the usual questions, (‘How do you feel about your nominations? Who are you wearing? What can we look forward to for your performance? A message to your fans? Any news about new music? Which stage are you looking forward to seeing?’) before walking up to one of the pre-stages with the two hosts. They, of course, ask him the same questions all over again, and he does some poses, teases about his stage, and smiles for the cameras before it’s finally done and he is led backstage.

It’s all standard procedure but his cheeks already hurt from all the smiling, and he can’t wait to take a little breather in his changing room. Saeko walks in front of him, along with his security staff behind him, as they navigate through the halls until they reach a door that has a paper taped to it with his name on it. 

It’s nothing grand, not with the amount of artists and celebrities present tonight, but it’s enough for now. Atsumu grabs a bottle of water and sits on one of the small couches with a groan and a, “I’m gettin’ too old for this, Saeko-chan.”

Saeko snorts, sitting down next to him. “I don’t need to hear this from you, you’re twentyfour. Anyway, don’t get too comfortable. We’re gonna do a little touch up for make-up and hair, and off we go to your seat. You remember where you’re sitting, yeah?”

Atsumu finishes his water and nods. “Yeah, you only showed me five times during soundcheck this morning.”

Before Saeko can pinch him, Atsumu gets up from the couch and right into the chair in front of the mirror, resting his eyes as his make-up artist gets too work, and a few minutes and another water bottle later, he is out of the door again and walking towards the main hall.

The seats are full, and the second he steps inside, he can hear the cheers of his fans that spotted him right away. He offers some waves, some smiles, winks in some of the cameras from the fansites that snuck them in as he walks to his seat.

He’s too occupied with that to notice one particular man who is already sitting there, watching him with wide eyes. Only when Atsumu reaches the artists’ seats does he turn around and their eyes meet.

Atsumu stops in his tracks and stares back. Holy shit.

It’s Hinata. Hinata is sitting there, right next to Atsumu’s assigned seat. 

He’s right _there._ And Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He looks exactly like in his recent music videos and interviews that Atsumu keeps up with, except even better. It’s a far cry from the last time he saw him in person, but at the same time he looks just like he remembers. The same vibrant hair, the big eyes, the tan skin. 

Hinata opens his mouth, and Atsumu gulps.

“Hey, Miya! Move it,” Saeko hisses from behind him and it’s like the spell is broken, and Atsumu jumps and turns around.

Saeko is frowning at him, obviously waiting for him to just get seated so she can go to her own seat further back and out of focus, and of course she doesn’t get what has shaken Atsumu so much because she doesn’t know about his past with Hinata. Saeko became his manager a whole year after their break-up.

“Ah, uh, sorry,” he mumbles and it probably gets lost in the noise of the hall. Atsumu turns back and sits down, glancing over to Hinata who is still like a statue and Atsumu can relate to that.

Saeko leans down to him. “I’m gonna pick you up when it’s your turn for change, alright? Be good, you hear me?”

Atsumu frowns. “Yes, _mom.”_

Saeko does end up pinching him this time, and Atsumu yelps and leans back. She gives him one more look and then walks off, leaving him alone with Hinata right next to him. 

Well, they’re not _alone_ alone. Apart from the deafening crowd all around them, there are countless staff walking around, the other artists in their seats right there with them, and enough security to rival an airport. So, they’re by no means alone. 

Stll, it’s the first time they have even met each other in person in years which is an accomplishment on its own considering they work in the same industry and even have mutual friends.

Atsumu clears his throat. “Uh, hey.”

Hinata almost jumps off his seat, and he slowly turns to Atsumu. “Ah– hey.”

Well, Atsumu is so glad this isn’t awkward at all. 

The hall around them is in constant movement, still so loud, so alive, but Atsumu feels like he’s in a quiet bubble just with Hinata and they both don’t know what to say or do. Atsumu didn’t expect them to sit next to each other, and they will stay like this for hours no less because these award shows are so painfully long.

After so many years, Atsumu has a few hours with him again. 

“So, um, this is a surprise. I mean– that we ended up seated next to each other, huh? What are the chances?” Atsumu tries again because they can’t just sit here in silence all evening. 

“Ah, yes! I was so surprised when you walked up here.”

Atsumu nods, stealing a glance at Hinata who is looking at his hands, and it’s silent once again. Well, this is going so well, isn’t it? Atsumu tries to think of something else to say, just anything at all, when the lights suddenly dim and he has to hold himself back from sighing in relief. 

The hosts appear on stage, doing the regular introduction. The camera pans to him when his name is listed as one of the performers and Atsumu easily smiles and waves as his fans cheer for him. Hinata is called right after him, and Atsumu looks at him on the screen instead of just turning his head, and Hinata’s smile is so wide, just like it used to be. The opening act begins and for a while, Atsumu can lean back and relax. 

It continues like that the entire show. Atsumu is painfully aware of Hinata’s presence next to him but it’s too loud to chat anyway, and they have to keep appearances whenever the camera happens to pan to either of them. 

It’s a whole hour into the show when their silence is broken, when a comedian takes the stage as an announcer and Atsumu swallows down a grimace. He can’t stand that guy. 

“I can’t stand that guy,” Hinata mumbles and Atsumu is surprised he even heard it. He turns his head and looks at Hinata in surprise.

“Me too! His jokes are terrible!”

“Right! Even your jokes are better.”

Atsumu’s mouth falls open. “Huh?! Yer always laughed at my jokes!”

Hinata grins. “Well, you were funny sometimes.”

“I was funny all the time.”

Hinata snorts, and Atsumu is about to remind him of his top ten best jokes when someone taps Hinata on the shoulder. 

It’s not someone Atsumu recognizes, but he must be someone from Hinata’s staff because he motions for Hinata to get up, and Hinata swiftly follows. Apparently it’s time for him to get ready for his stage. 

Hinata offers him a little smile, this time it’s free of the initial awkwardness and Atsumu offers a nod and watches Hinata leave, feeling a little regretful. They finally started to actually talk to each other like two normal people but now Atsumu is getting restless again. He’s going to watch Hinata perform, _finally,_ after all this time. 

It’s still a while until then, Atsumu knows, because Hinata is still getting changed and ready somewhere backstage, and the show around him goes on. The first category Atsumu is nominated for comes up, and Saeko said he has it in the bag but he can’t help but lean forward a little when the announcer opens the envelope.

“And the award goes to— Miya Atsumu!” 

Atsumu lets out a sigh of relief as the tension leaves his shoulders and the smile on his face that’s projected onto the various screens is genuine as he gets up, bowing to the artists around him, and walking up to the stage to accept the award.

He gives a little speech, thanks his fans and his staff, drops a “I guess, thanks to my brother Osamu as well,” which makes his fans laugh and Atsumu grins as he imagines Samu’s annoyed eye roll back at home. He bows once again before being let away backstage where Saeko is waiting with a high five. Some photos are taken with him holding his award up before being whisked back to his seat.

He’s barely sitting down when the lights dim again, and Atsumu doesn’t even have a moment to relax because Hinata is right there on stage, spotlight on him with a mic in his hand as he waits for the music to begin.

Everything during the stage is like a blur to Atsumu. 

He knows the two songs Hinata performs of course. Knows them by heart (can even play them on the piano himself but no one needs to know that) but watching it being performed in front of his eyes is an entirely different experience. 

Just like back then, Hinata is bright. 

Atsumu can’t take his eyes off him, as Hinata’s sweet voice fills the hall, as he jumps around the stage at the upbeat parts, as he pauses and closes his eyes at the slower ones, as he is completely consumed by the music, and Atsumu is still drawn to him and his entire being just like back then, just like the first time he’s seen him. 

It’s not like the times Hinata picked up a guitar while sitting on Atsumu’s bed, or when he recorded a video for his youtube channel. He’s come a long way, and he’s truly a star now. Hinata belongs on that stage, and any other as well. Hinata was born to have the entire world watching him. 

Hinata moved him back then, and he still does now. 

The last song is Atsumu’s favorite and it’s probably just his imagination, just wishful thinking, but Hinata’s eyes suddenly snap open and Atsumu could swear Hinata is looking right at him as he sings the bridge and finally the last chorus. 

The last tune fades away, and there’s that single moment of total silence, less than a second, less than a blink of an eye, before the crowd erupts in cheers and Atsumu is right there with them.

Hinata Shouyou is still brighter than Atsumu’s entire world.

The show continues but Atsumu doesn’t get the chance to see Hinata before his own performance. 

Shortly after his ends, Saeko appears behind him and signs for him to get up, and Atsumu follows her through the seats and back to his changing room where his team gets to work immediately for his own stage. He changes out of his suit into his more casual outfit for the stage, there’s more make-up, more hair spray, some last minute pep talk, and then off he goes, waiting for his cue. 

He’s on standby as another award is announced, some more introductions are made, and Atsumu allows himself to wonder if Hinata is back in his seat to watch him perform as well. He must be, right? He should be. But Atsumu can’t wonder for too long because the lights are dimmed and he’s walking on stage and the second the first tune to his song plays, his mind empties.

Atsumu always enjoyed the performing part of being a singer the most. On stage, he can completely let go, and share with the world all his feelings and thoughts which he puts into his songs. He loves performing for his fans, for the camera, and for himself. And for the most part, nothing else but the lights and the music are on his mind.

It’s not until a slower part of his last song comes up when breaks out of his trance and remembers. That moment when he thought that Hinata was looking at him. 

The song Atsumu is performing right now, if he’s honest, is all about Hinata. Just like many of his songs are. So his gaze turns to the direction where their seats are and Atsumu can’t see him, or anything really against the bright lights of the stage, but he hopes Hinata is sitting there and watching. 

_“And I wonder,”_ Atsumu sings, voice a little breathy but it works. _“I wonder if this feeling reaches you too.”_

The music and his voice fades away, and Atsumu asks himself if his voice has reached far enough. 

Atsumu is one of the last performers of the night so when he gets back to his seat, the show is already in its ending stages.

Hinata is not in his seat since he just won an award himself, and he returns just before Atsumu is to get back on stage to receive his second award of the night. They barely get to exchange a smile, and when Atsumu returns to his seat, the show is ending. All artists get on stage to bow and wave goodbye to the audience and it’s full and busy and Hinata is standing further away from him, so far that Atsumu can barely see him.

He walks off stage and follows Saeko back to his changing room, and even though the show is over, Atsumu knows the night isn’t.

“What can I do to get out of the aftershow party?” Atsumu asks the second the door closes behind them.

“Oh you’re going, and if I have to drag you there by your ear, then so be it.”

“But-”

“Nope. Order from higher up. You’re going.”

Sometimes Atsumu wishes he could just throw his tantrums again but he knows that’s not going to fly with Saeko, and especially not with his agency. (Kita Shinsuke is able to invoke the fear of God in him.)

Still, he can sulk a little bit. “Fine, but I hope ya can live with the fact that yer makin’ me go against my will.”

Saeko doesn’t even look up from her phone. “I think I’ll be fine. C’mon, change and let’s go.”

There’s no way around it, no matter how much Atsumu sulks, and he is once again changing into different clothes and has sponges tapping away on his face until he’s deemed worthy to be captured by cameras.

The actual aftershow party won’t have a lot of press in attendance. It’s usually just the before when Atsumu has to play nice and smile for all the lenses pointed at him and even though he’s starting to get tired and a little unnerved by it, he powers through it because that’s part of the job. (Also, again, Kita Shinsuke is the scariest person Atsumu has ever met and he doesn’t want to give him a reason to scold Atsumu.)

Soon enough he manages to leave behind all that jazz and he walks into the venue with Saeko glued to his side. “Go on, mingle a little. Be nice. You have to stay at least for three hours.”

Atsumu swivels around. “Three?! Can’t we just do one?”

“No.”

“One and a half.”

“Two and a half.”

“Two.”

Saeko squints at him. “Fine. Two hours. But you have to be on your best behavior.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes and takes one of the drinks sitting out nearby. “Yer actin’ like I’m a ticking time bomb.”

“Do I have to remind you of what happened at Nippon TV last month?”

No she didn’t. Atsumu was called into Kita’s office after that one. 

“I can behave myself,” he mumbles and _tries_ not to sound like a petulant five year old with mediocre success. Saeko just gives him a look and then shoos him off to “mingle” and Atsumu is just really not in the mood for it, so he gets out of her sight and instead walks out to the rooftop terrace where it’s quieter and a lot emptier than the main hall.

There are a few others up here, smoking and talking much calmer and Atsumu does his nice “Hello, I hope you are well, yes thank you, haha of course.” before getting away and leaning against a wall a bit further away. He doesn’t know how long he can hide away here before Saeko finds him and drags him back but Atsumu wants to enjoy the little reverie he can find out here while looking out at the skyline of Tokyo.

“Not very fond of the party?”

Atsumu jumps at the familiar voice and he looks at Hinata who is suddenly leaning against the wall right next to him. For a second he’s a little speechless as he takes him in in the semi-darkness of the late evening with only the lights of the buildings around them throwing shadows upon them. Atsumu gulps at the colors dancing across Hinata’s skin.

“Wasn’t really in the mood for it.”

Hinata lets out a little huff and turns his face towards Tokyo under them. “Me neither.”

“Ya usually enjoy a good party,” Atsumu notes and at least that used to be the case, but who knows what can change in four years.

“I do, but I’m a little tired, but Sawamura-san, my manager, told me I had to go at least for a little bit.

“Yeah, Saeko-chan threatened to drag me here by the ear when I tried to get out of it earlier.”

Atsumu isn’t sure what’s going on right now, or how he’s having a conversation with Hinata while staying totally relaxed, but he doesn’t want to ruin it by overthinking it. They’re just two old friends doing smalltalk. Atsumu glances over at him and finds a smile on Hinata’s face.

“She sounds nice.”

“Have her drive ya somewhere under pressure. Ya life will flash before yer eyes, I’m tellin’ you.”

This actually gets a laugh out of Hinata and it sounds exactly like Atsumu remembers. Maybe he is staring, just a little bit, and maybe he gets caught when Hinata turns his head and meets his eyes easily and suddenly Atsumu has the urge to ask him about everything he missed in the last 1321 days ever since they broke up. 

“I really enjoyed your stage earlier,” Hinata suddenly says. “The last song you performed is my favorite song of yours.”

Atsumu raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Ya listen to my music?”

Atsumu isn’t sure if the slight flush on Hinata’s cheeks is real or just one of the lights playing tricks on him. In any case, Hinata purses his lips and looks away. “Of course. Your music is my favorite.”

That alone means more to Atsumu than words could describe. “The two songs ya performed, they’re my favorites too. I can play them on the piano too,” he tells him even though he didn’t even tell Osamu about that before.

Hinata looks back at him and his expression is warm and he looks like, dare Atsumu hope, he’s happy to hear that. The atmosphere between them is weird in a sense that it’s almost too serene and pleasant and nothing like Atsumu imagined their first meeting after everything to be. 

Hinata pushes himself off the wall and shuffles a little closer to him. “Do you want a drink, Atsumu-san?”

  
  


**atsumu stan #1** @tsumutsumus

tsumu looked so good yesterday, i’m salivating wwwwwwww

56 retweets • 125 likes

**atsumu tiddy ambassador** @miyas_txt

did y’all see his expression tho when he was watching shouyou’s stage? is he a secret fanboy? so cute

189 retweets • 659 likes

> **nana** @0713mmiya
> 
> @miyas_twt omg yes! they were sitting next to each other too! dream interaction!!
> 
> 68 retweets • 207 likes

**MYONEANDONLY** @myoaoATSUMU

210514 JMA #JMA #MIYAATSUMU #ATSUMU @atsumu_twt

[image attached]

32.1k retweets • 45.7k likes

  
  


It’s exactly seven o’clock in the morning when Atsumu almost knocks down his brother’s door the next day after getting only three hours of sleep. Technically he has a key and could just walk in but he learned from past mistakes when he walked in and found his brother decisively not alone and that’s something Atsumu never wants to experience ever again. 

It’s also rude and he’s a nice and respectable guy. 

It apparently takes six minutes for his brother to wake up and open the door with the grumpiest expression Atsumu has seen in a while. “Are ya out of your fucking mind?” Osamu greets him, and Atsumu just pushes him aside and walks in. 

“Good morning to ya too.”

“What the hell are ya doin’ here? What time is it? Leave me alone.”

Atsumu slips out of his shoes and walks further into the apartment, completely ignoring his brother’s complaints just like he always does because he doesn’t actually want Atsumu to leave.

“Don’t ignore me, I wanna go back to sleep, ya annoying parasite.”

Okay, maybe he kind of wants Atsumu to leave. But he can’t do that yet.

“I have to tell ya what happened yesterday at the aftershow party.”

Osamu groans and falls face down onto his couch. “As long as ya didn’t knock someone up, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I talked to Shouyou-kun for hours and we exchanged LINE IDs.”

Osamu lifts his head and stares at him. “Hinata Shouyou?”

“Yup.”

“Yer ex-boyfriend?”

“Exactly.”

“The one ya broke up with four years ago and cried about for another two?”

“Ye– what the hell, I didn’t cry for two years!”

Osamu actually sits up now, apparently his interest peaked. “So? What happened?”

Atsumu throws himself next to his brother, still a little giddy from the events of the night prior. “I don’t know? I mean, I do know. We ended up sittin’ next to each other at the award show and at first it was, like, _super_ awkward. But then we kinda bonded over one of the hosts we don’t like. But then our performances came up so we couldn’t really talk, and Samu he was amazing! And then at the aftershow party we somehow ended up on the rooftop together and we just– we talked for hours. Like, I didn’t even wanna go but in the end Saeko had to pull me away to get us home, so Shouyou wrote his ID on a napkin, like, look at this!”

Atsumu pulls a slightly beat up napkin from his pocket. “He wants to stay in contact? I mean, I think I want that too? I don’t know, it was actually really nice yesterday. Kinda crazy, but also kinda nice.”

Osamu looks back and forth between the napkin and him. “Okay, what’s happening? Are ya two getting back together or what?”

“Wha– no! It’s not like that. At least I don’t think it is. It wouldn’t be a good idea anyway, it’s been four years, ya know? That’s such a long time. But after yesterday, I realized that I just missed talking to him. Like, would it be weird to become friends again? Can ya be friends with your ex?”

Osamu lets out a sigh. “I mean, I guess so? Why not? Like ya said, it’s been four years, that’s a long time. So iff that’s want ya two want... Just be careful.”

“Of what?”

“Well, make sure yer on the same page about this or someone will get hurt.”

Atsumu nods and he has been thinking the same thing. After he got home from the party yesterday, he was still too giddy to go to bed right away, and he kept replaying the events of the night over and over again. Atsumu definitely didn’t want to just get back together with Hinata. It’s been too long and too many things have changed for both of them. For all he knows, Hinata might as well be a stranger with how little he knew about his life apart from what’s known online but Atsumu knows from experience that most of those things are handpicked carefully. 

Atsumu knows the nineteen year old Hinata, he doesn’t know twenty three year old Hinata. Twenty three year old Hinata is a successful musician with almost four years of experience which must have shaped him into a different person, just like they have done with Atsumu. Of course he won’t be a fundamentally different person, but it’s just not the same.

Also, Atsumu isn’t giddy because he’s head over heels again, he’s giddy because he’s always admired Hinata as a person and when they broke up, he didn’t just lose his partner, he lost an important friend. He’s giddy and a little excited because talking to Hinata for hours had been as easy as was talking to Osamu. 

“I think I wanna be friends. Or I wanna try at least,” Atsumu says, still a little lost in thoughts.

Osamu next to him grunts. “Sounds good. I’m goin’ back to bed.”

“Yer such a bum.”

“Fuck off, today’s my day off!”

Osamu shoves him as he gets up and even though he says all that, he still doesn’t go back to sleep and instead makes them breakfast while Atsumu takes out his phone and creates a new contact.

Atsumu doesn’t get to contact Hinata until almost a week later and it’s genuinely not on purpose. He meant to do it early, actually he meant to do it as soon as possible, but work gets in the way. He’s in the middle of recording a new track, so it takes him days until he finally finds himself at home with a quiet evening on his hands.

He stares at the screen of his phone after finally sending Hinata a message and now he waits. It was kind of embarrassing how long it took him to come up with a simple “Hi, it’s Atsumu! Sorry for contacting you so late, I was drowning in work. How are you doing?” and it’s been only five minutes and Hinata still hasn’t read his message. Then again, it has only been _five minutes_ and Atsumu needs to get a grip.

Atsumu sighs and drops his phone next to him and instead turns on his TV and puts on a show. He’s not gonna stare at his phone like a loser until Hinata messages him back. For all he knows, he could be working right now. Atsumu isn’t twenty anymore, he knows that sometimes things just get in the way of things. 

Atsumu genuinely gets into the show after a few minutes and it’s another hour when his phone vibrates and Atsumu absentmindedly glances at it and starts when he sees that he’s got a reply from Hinata.

_Hey Atsumu-san!! Don’t worry about it, I figured you were busy. I’m doing well, just got out of a reeeeally long and boring meeting. How are you doing?_

Atsumu smiles at his phone as he types in his reply, sharing about his equally long and really boring meeting from yesterday and just like that, the two of them start texting back and forth. Atsumu turns off the TV show in the background, long forgotten, and almost two hours pass by easily until Atsumu feels his eyelids grow heavy.

_I gotta head to bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow._

_Oh damn, it’s so late already. I gotta go to sleep soon too_

_Actually before you go, I was wondering if you want to meet up at some point next week? If you have time? To catch up?_

Atsumu hesitates for a moment, thinking back to his conversation with Osamu the day after the award show. “Make sure yer on the same page about this or someone will get hurt,” is what he said, and he was right. 

_I would love to. I’ll let you know tomorrow when I have some free time._

They say their good nights, and Atsumu gets up from his couch and starts getting ready for bed, while inevitably thinking about Hinata. Reconnecting with him had been such an unexpected development and Atsumu isn’t sure how it’s going to turn out, but he’s not twenty and naive anymore. He’ll wait and see.

He hums a new melody as he washes his face, and bits and pieces of lyrics start to build in his head, he quickly writes them down in his notes app before falling asleep.

  
  


It takes them another entire week before they manage to find time to meet. 

They go back and forth on the where and how, and decide to grab some lunch. The restaurant they pick has private rooms which are perfect to hide from curious eyes and cameras, and the staff is nice and discreet. Atsumu lets Saeko know in advance that he’s meeting with Hinata which opened a whole can of worms as she tried to pry out of him how the two even got to know each other. 

A few years ago he would have lied to Saeko’s face and made up some excuse, but their relationship has grown beyond manager and artist, and he opens up and tells Saeko the truth. She doesn’t get mad at him, but still urges him to be careful nonetheless and for once Atsumu doesn’t just wave her off and promises her to be careful.

Hinata is already seated when Atsumu arrives and he greets him with an easy smile.

“Sorry, did ya wait long?”

Hinata shakes his head. “Not at all! I just got here as well!”

“Have ya been here before?” Atsumu asks after the waiter brings them the menu and Atsumu just briefly eyes it since he knows what he wants to eat anyway. 

“One or two times, yes! It’s very private, that’s nice.”

“It’s why I like coming here. The food’s really good too. Ya should try their Okonomiyaki, it’s really good.”

They spent the first twenty minutes busy talking about the menu and ordering the actual food, and once the waiter is gone with their order, there’s a moment of somewhat awkward silence in which neither of them really know what to say. 

Atsumu rubs his hands together just to do something as the nerves start to get to him a little. “I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t see us sitting here together.”

Hinata chuckles and Atsumu hears the slightly nervous edge to it. “Me neither. But it’s nice, right? I was really surprised to see you– I mean, I knew that you would be there of course. Just that we ended up sitting next to each other.”

“Or would end up hanging out at the aftershow party,” Atsumu adds.

“It made the evening a lot better, though!”

Atsumu smiles, his hands still a little fidgety as Osamu’s words replay in his mind over and over again. He feels like he’s on his way to that award show all over again. Not nervous, but also not relaxed. 

“Shouyou-kun, I was hoping that– I mean, I dunno why you wanted to meet up, but I personally would really like to be friends?”

His nerves must be written all over his face because Hinata’s expression from across the table softens and he leans forward a little. “I would really like that too. I missed you, Atsumu-san.”

Atsumu lets out a sigh of relief and the tension that had been slowly building up in his shoulders ever since he woke up that morning up until he sat down is released at once. “I missed ya too. I know the last time we spoke was really bad and–”

“It’s okay! Let’s just forget about that. A lot of time has passed. I want to get to know you again. Catch me up, tell me everything I’ve missed.”

The smile that appears on Atsumu’s face comes so easy and the two of them, once again, talk and talk and talk while eating their meal. They talk until it becomes rude to stay any longer, so they put on their face masks and sunglasses and leave the restaurant, still huddled close and go to a coffee shop instead. They sit together until it’s the evening and texts from Saeko start tinkling in, reminding him that he has to come to the company office.

He walks Hinata to his car, relishing when he tells a joke and Hinata laughs wholeheartedly, and he watches him drive off, feeling really good about the entire day. 

They made sure that they’re on the same page, and decided to forget about everything that happened and just be in the moment. Just be friends again. It’s been four years without Hinata Shouyou, and Atsumu is ready to leave that chapter behind. 

**super shoyo** @sshoyouz

Omg someone saw miya atsumu and shouyou out for lunch together???? I didn’t know they were friends?? 

[view image attached]

2k retweets • 4.3k likes

**tamitami** @hinatastars

not to be me but i kinda ship it………………. 

12 retweets • 45 likes

**Royal Empress** @RoyalEmpressRPG

Find your Destiny and live to see yourself become The Royal Empress!

[video attached]

_Promoted Tweet._

**sousarin (12k)** @pandamu

#atsuhina strangers to lovers, 4k, sfw

ao3.com/works/546….

[image attached]

21 retweets • 61 likes

That lunch was the first of many to come.

Neither of them are surprised that their fans and the media catch wind of their outings but after a quick chat to their management, they’re told there’s nothing to worry about.

Saeko pulls him aside and asks him seriously if these are really just friendly outings and he assures her that they are. Hinata and him are simply friends, that’s what both of them agreed on. Osamu gives him the same kind of talk and he’s a little harder to convince than Saeko. 

“I’m just asking because I know ya,” he said and Atsumu has no idea what he even meant by that. “Ya loved him a lot. Ya always love a lot.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes at that, and told Osamu that it’s not even true. He gets why he might be worried because Atsumu would be too if their positions were reversed. The two of them might fight and act like they don’t care but in the end, they are twin brothers, and in the end, they love each other more than they’d ever admit. 

But it’s not like that, Atsumu insists to anyone who knows about their history and asks. 

And it really isn’t, Atsumu knows.

Spending time with Hinata is easy. They are, in a way, re-meeting and relearning about each other but it’s entirely different from the first time. 

Four years ago, Atsumu saw Hinata and asked him out on the spot, and a few days later they were a thing. It was fast, less thought and more action. Back then Atsumu thought he could do anything, he believed he was on top of the world, and in a way he still believes those things sometimes, but he has also learned the importance of patience. He learned that he can’t always have his way, learned that sometimes he has to compromise. And he learned that the career he chose for himself is not an easy one and has many sides that he doesn’t necessarily enjoy. 

Atsumu is still young, but he’s not twenty years old and performing gigs in bars with his brother and their high school best friend. 

And Hinata is not nineteen and not uploading song covers on Youtube and Instagram. 

Back then Hinata would play him little melodies on his guitar while sitting on his bed. Now, Atsumu is sitting in a chair in Hinata’s studio and Hinata plays him parts of a new track he’s working on while talking about the technical parts of the song. Atsumu listens with his eyes closed, feeling relaxed and honestly pretty happy about getting a little sneak peek of Hinata’s projects.

“The bridge doesn’t really fit,” Atsumu says after listening to the instrumental two more times, and Hinata nods.

“Right? I’ve been thinking the same thing but I just can’t figure out how to fix it. It’s been driving me nuts for days now.”

“What’s the mood you’re going for?” Atsumu fastforwards to the part in question again to give it another listen. “This song is pretty upbeat, right? But not really happy summer vibes either.”

Hinata isn’t looking at him, his finger tapping one of the dials without actually moving it. “It is a ‘happy’ song, if you want to call it that.” Atsumu glances over at him and he almost misses Hinata’s red ears among his vibrant hair. “It’s about, uh, new beginnings. The lyrics aren’t done yet, though.”

“Oh,” Atsumu says. _Oh,_ Atsumu thinks and a warm feeling spreads in his chest even though he tells himself to cut it out. “I like it though. I know you can figure the bridge out. Maybe take a little break and try to come back to it in a day or two with a clear mind. I sometimes get stuck when I work too much on a song.”

Hinata hums, fingers still fiddling around. “Will you listen to it again once I figure it out?”

Atsumu smiles. “Only if I can send you the song I’m working on right now too.”

Hinata finally looks at him, eyes alight, and his fingers move away from the soundboard. “You don’t even have to ask!”

And so Atsumu shows him the demo file the three days later, this time in his studio, and he doesn’t explain what the song might be about. He shows Hinata the version without the half-finished lyrics, so he can't ask what Atsumu means when he sings about being nineteen and naive. 

And if Hinata still gets it, he doesn’t mention it, and that’s alright with Atsumu. He’d rather take in the way Hinata closes his eyes as he listens to it three times in a row without any interruptions, and usually Atsumu doesn’t like to show his unfinished work and whenever he does, he is almost too on edge, ready to explain himself and all the parts that don’t fit yet. But he doesn’t feel the need to do that with Hinata, even when he points out the parts that Atsumu is also still not satisfied with. It’s because Hinata gets him completely, still, even after more than four years. 

“Do you have a name for it already?” Hinata asks him as he listens to it again. 

Atsumu nods. “192024” And he wonders if Hinata knows what those numbers mean but he doesn’t say anything. Hinata simply nods and closes his eyes again to listen. 

It’s when Atsumu takes in the soft shadows Hinata’s eyelashes cast across his cheek that Atsumu knows he’s in trouble, and that Osamu was maybe right again.

So when Hinata leaves that evening, Atsumu panics.

**Miya Atsumu** ✔️ @atsumu_twt

Someone broke into my studio and ate all my snacks. @shoyo explain????

[image attached]

233k retweets • 419k likes

**Momo** @mintouki

They’re just gonna be cute like that? In front of everyone?

384 retweets • 781 likes

**atsumu’s lawfully wedded husband** @tsuoumu

c’mon kings, just drop the news of the collab already, stop edging me

6 retweets • 32 likes

**Hinata Shouyou** ✔️ @shoyo

(sunshine emoji) (angel emoji) 

[image attached]

201k retweets • 431k likes

  
  


“I’m freaking the fuck out,” Atsumu announces three weeks after his mini breakdown over eyelash shadows. It’s fine though. (It isn’t, really.)

Osamu and Suna look at him, both too apathetic considering Atsumu just poured their heart and soul out to them. He hates this fucking family. “Did ya just hear what I said?!”

Osamu sighs. “No offense, Sumu, but we kinda saw it coming.”

“What’dya mean?”

They both sigh together, and Atsumu hates them. He shouldn’t have come here. “I mean that it was just a matter of time.”

“No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I genuinely just wanted to be his friend. I _am_ his friend! It’s been months since we reconnected and he I can’t have these– these stupid _feelings._ I need to cut it out.”

The thing was, for the last three weeks, Atsumu realized more and more that he stopped seeing Hinata as purely a friend. Ever so slowly, he caught himself thinking about the way Hinata’s hair looked in the sun, or how the lines of his face soften when he smiles, or how he taps his fingers to an unheard beat when he’s deep in thoughts, or how he–

Anyway. Atsumu has a problem.

It’s been four months since the award show. A little less than four months since they decided to be friends, and a little less than four months of regular hangouts, daily texts, and often even voice and video calls. 

Last month, Hinata flew to Hong Kong for an event and the two of them kept messaging back and forth and Hinata facetimed him while he sat down to work on his song with Atsumu just _being_ there. Atsumu wasn’t even helping him out, he was just on a call until Hinata got tired and went to bed. 

And these kinds of things happen all the time. And that’s what friends could do, right? Except the two of them never even managed to keep up such steady contact back when they were trying (and failing) to make long distance work. Now it seems like it’s not even an issue. 

And sometimes they get to busy and can’t speak to each other for a few days, but it’s not really a problem because they just catch up once they have time again, or one of them sends them a long text full of rambles of retellings of their days and the other just took their time to answer and it was _fine._

Now, they worked so well now because they’re friends. There’s no pressure, no stupid voice in his head reminding Atsumu what a horrible boyfriend he is, and that Hinata doesn’t think of him or miss him when he's gone. And then Atsumu had to go and fuck it all up just because Hinata’s eyelashes throw shadows across his cheeks in the evening sun and, God, Atsumu is so gay.

Now, Atsumu has been in love with Hinata before so he knows what’s happening. He’s falling, pretty hard at that, and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

“The only way to stop this is to step back a little. Get some distance,” he decides out loud.

“Oh my fucking God,” Suna whispers and looks at him with something akin to disgust.

“No, you fucking moron!” Osamu shouts and Atsumu shrinks back. Kinda mean, but okay. “Ya shouldn’t do that at all. Don’t be an idiot. Why’re ya even running away from this?”

“Because I’ve been here before, and it didn’t work out, and just ended in a big mess! I don’t need to go through all that again.”

“Ya don’t even know if it’s gonna turn out like that again. It’s been four years, and thank God even ya grew up a little bit. The two of ya are in totally different places in yer life, it’s not gonna be the same.”

Atsumu gets up, and grabs his sweater. “Ya don’t know that.”

“Stop running away, and yeah I can’t see into the future, but I sure as hell can tell ya that running away and ignoring ya feelings is gonna backfire on ya.”

Atsumu knows Osamu is right but he’s too stubborn to admit it, even to himself. “Whatever.”

Atsumu walks out, ignoring Osamu shouting after him and he gets into his car and drives off, not really knowing where to. He doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want to go to work, and he hates himself a little bit thinking about going to Hinata.

He doesn’t. Instead he turns directions and drives towards his studio. He sends Saeko a quick text telling her that he’s gonna lock himself in here all day or longer and work on music, and just before he’s about to turn his phone off, he looks at Hinata’s contact.

The last text was from yesterday evening, just a simple “Good night!” along with a selfie of Hinata already lying in bed. Atsumu almost made that his lockscreen. 

Back when they started to drift apart, Atsumu hated it when Hinata sometimes disappeared for days without saying anything, and because Atsumu was petty and immature, he’d do the same to Hinata even though he knew it would hurt him. It was a fucking mess, and if he could, he would punch his younger self in the face.

_Hey Shouyou-kun, just letting you know that I’m gonna lock myself up in my studio and work on music for a while, so I won’t be checking my phone_

Atsumu hesitates for a moment, and adds another thing. 

_Hope you had a good day. If I manage to finish this song, can you be the first one to listen to it?_

Atsumu doesn’t wait for a reply. He turns off his phone and puts it away, and for the next two days there’s nothing else but him and music. There’s no Osamu shouting at him, no judging looks from Suna, no Saeko scolding him for overworking himself, and no also no cowardly thoughts of dropping everything and running.

He replayed it over and over again until he’s almost sick of it, and he feels like he could never ever show this song to anyone because the way it is now, no one deserves to listen to something like this.

Yeah, Atsumu is a coward. He’s so scared, terrified even, of what it means to love Hinata Shouyou. Was he allowed to feel these things when they already fucked up that much before?

 _192024,_ and Atsumu isn’t sure what that even means. 

  
  


After more than thirty hours (with only six hours of sleep) Atsumu finally checks his phone.

There are several things that he missed.

First, several messages of Saeko, but he isn’t surprised and quickly lets her know that he is, in fact, still alive. 

Second, a missed call and a few texts from his brother but Atsumu isn’t really in the mood to talk to him right now, so he skips them for later. 

Lastly, Hinata. He replied to Atsumu’s text by telling him to make sure to get enough sleep and that he’s looking forward to hearing the song. Ten hours later, there’s another text telling Atsumu that he has a surprise. The last text is from an hour ago and it’s a Youtube link.

Atsumu frowns and clicks it and what greets him is a music video. No, not just any music video but Hinata’s music video. He dropped his new song out of nowhere and Atsumu is sure the internet is on fire right now, but he can’t even think about that. 

Atsumu pauses the video before it can start playing and quickly grabs his headphones, lying back down with the phone face down on his chest as he hits play again. Atsumu prefers to listen before watching the music video because he doesn’t want to get distracted by anything, even if it’s just Hinata’s face. He wants to experience the music.

Of course, Atsumu has heard the unfinished version of this plenty of times but it’s still like a completely new experience. He closes his eyes and simply listens, takes it all in. Just like Hinata told him, the song is about new beginnings and he wants to, he wants so badly to say that this song must be about him. Can he be that self-centered? That arrogant? That daring? Can he claim, the way he is and the way they used to be, to be Hinata’s new beginning?

Atsumu wasn’t sure what the law was, if there was a law, from the universe or society that decided whether Atsumu may be granted to fall in love with Hinata again. 

Atsumu plays the song on repeat for almost an hour before he can bring himself to watch the actual music video and his eyes are glued to every frame of Hinata on the little screen of his phone. God, Atsumu is so pathetic, isn’t he?

The bridge is perfect now, by the way. 

_192024,_ he thinks again, and he looks at the monotone black and white of the keys of his piano, fingers resting but not playing, as he thinks and thinks and thinks. Atsumu is so scared. He’s in love again and scared.

His hand starts moving and he sings, _192024._

Two days later he finally left his studio like he’s a monster crawling out of its cave and he’s ready (somewhat) to be among people again. He made sure to tell Hinata, in much detail, how much he loved his new song but he was too scared to ask what or who it was about. Scared of it being both about and not about him. Either way. 

He drives to the company’s office and presents his finished song and his team is ecstatic. They love it. It’s gonna happen. When they’re alone, Saeko asks him what the song is about and Atsumu half-lies and tells her he doesn’t know even though he does, but he also doesn’t want to know. 

He also sends Hinata a demo, but the one without the lyrics because he’s a coward and Hinata says he loves it. He asks Atsumu if he’s home and Atsumu says he’s on his way. 

Two hours later, Hinata is in front of his door and he wraps his arms around Atsumu and Atsumu still doesn’t know if they should but he also can’t turn away.

“I wrote that song for you,” Hinata later tells him when they’re sitting on Atsumu’s couch and it confirms Atsumu’s fears but he’s also so happy as well. 

“I was hoping so,” Atsumu admits even though he wants to shake and run but Hinata is smiling at him so it should be okay, right?

“Did you recognize the bridge?” Hinata then asks him and his finger is tapping on Atsumu's knee. 

“It’s completely different to what ya showed me before. It’s perfect, though.”

Hinata taps his fingers and looks down. “I played it for you before. I was sitting on your bed with that old guitar I had back then, and I told you that I wrote that thinking of us. Of you.”

Atsumu’s stomach feels so heavy as he remembers, so vividly. “Shouyou-kun–”

“I’m really scared, Atsumu-san,” Hinata’s fingers stop tapping and instead he grasps at the fabric of Atsumu’s sweatpants as if he’s worried Atsumu would run away otherwise. 

“I’m scared too. That we fuck it up again.”

Hinata leans forward and Atsumu moves to meet him in the middle until their foreheads are touching and Hinata is so close to him, he becomes blurry. 

“I don’t think we will,” Hinata whispered in between them, and he was always the one believe more in Atsumu than Atsumu himself did. 

“What if we do?”

Hinata’s fingers tap his knee, one two three. “Then we’ll fix it.”

Hinata kisses him then, and Atsumu can finally breathe. 

  
_19,_ I met you. _20,_ I left you. _24,_ I love you.


End file.
